It’s All Relative.
As I sit contemplating an overwhelming day, I can’t help but ponder that everything is all relative. I went through some tough experiences in my life. Moments that dared to define my very being. The very essence of who I am. Until I became sure of who’s I am, it was a battle that I never thought I could conquer. So, I searched. I searched for people to help me. Just like the Israelites did. Only during my searching phase, I knew nothing of the Old Testament really except that God made the world, that He made us in His own image, and then we fell and that was that, at least that is what I thought.
But back to my search. I was desperate to fill this void that I couldn’t quite understand. As I elevated in life the void was filled little by little with things like career success, financial stability, recognition, and all the things the world tells us we need in order to be happy. Indeed, I was happy, until the next time. Until the next handbag sat on the shelf, the next vacation was over, until the next magazine feature, etc. Each low moment was a new chance for me to search for that high again. And so, I did.
Along the way, I ran into some people that I am not ashamed of saying I met. I know all things work for the good so I can confidently express my thoughts and experience. I felt an emptiness and I was desperate to know why. I was desperate for someone to give me the answer. The problem is the people I sought knew just how desperate I was and just how open my heart was for true love.
Love to me has no limits. But love to me now does know boundaries. Something that I didn’t understand before. The deeper and darker my world seemed to get as I opened my heart to people that never meant me well; the higher God was willing to take me in order for me to truly see. Your pain will get low enough that you have no choice but to believe there has to be something greater than what you feel. I finally got to that point. And at that point, I finally saw the Light within me. His Light. Do I regret seeking Spiritual counsel from other sources? Absolutely not. God will allow you to go so far before you have to make a choice. I chose to trust Him and when I did, He showed me that He had been with me the whole time hoping they would also see His love and change their ways.
You see, the Israelites in the Old Testament did not understand the bondage they endured was finally over. They did not understand because they had nothing to compare being free to. I thank God for my ancestors because through their stories we have a blueprint. That blueprint is the tool we need in our minds to know when we are on the opposite side of fear. Pain produces purpose is a saying that I will carry with me forever. Without the pain I endured, I would never know what true love feels like. Without the Spirit of others manipulating and taking advantage of me (and yes, they were convincing to me for a while), I would have never believed in the power of the one true HOLY SPIRIT.
I would have never learned about the man named Jesus Christ who responded to the nations that questioned if he were the One. He said to them “what does it matter?’ You had true Holy prophets sent by God like Moses and Isaiah and you did not believe them fully. So, what makes you think you will believe me?” (2 Timothy 3:15).
The only way through is faith. Faith in what is unseen. Faith solely based on the opposite of what you have seen which was never enough, never the answer, never the way. The only person we can truly believe without a shadow of a doubt is ourselves. That is why He chose to dwell within each of us if we would just have faith enough to open our hearts and allow Him to.
Now more than ever.
The Old and the New.
The Pain and the Purpose.
Is all Relative. -TBM